Last night, I lay in bed with Shayne and I started to cry. I asked him, “Am I too full on? Am I too much for people?”
I was triggered by something that happened during the day.
And I started to doubt myself and how I appear to others.
I am a person who polarizes people. Most people either really like me or don’t like me at all. (Of course, there are people who have complete disinterest in me as well.)
As I lay in the dark, tears running down my cheek, I wondered what is the gift in this thought that “I am too much.”
I love shadow work and when we shine the light of consciousness onto a shadow it cannot remain in the dark.
Every shadow has a positive and a negative.
I asked myself, “What is the positive of being too full on?”
- I have lots of energy and passion
- I am highly motivated
- I get things done
- I take risks
- I harness my courage
- I show other people that they too can be who they truly are
I fell asleep with the positives of this shadow on my mind. But I still felt fragile.
When I awoke at 5am, I did some clearing work around being too much.
I love the work of Amy-Jo Ellis called The Full Court of Atonement. It is a clearing process that works on the soul level and I have found it very effective. It can also be used to clear ancestral patterns.
One variation goes like this:
“I, Ayesha Hilton, put myself into a Full Court of Atonement, with myself, Ayesha Hilton, and all my ancestors. I ask that our timelines be analysed and any and all times where we have been shamed, humiliated, or judged for being too much or too full on, be healed at their point of origin on the astral plan.”
I then used another clearing technique from a mentor I adore, Nidhu Kapoor. She uses simple but powerfully effective decrees in her work.
“I am too much, you can leave now.”
“People won’t like me because I am too full on, you can leave now.”
“I am scared to put myself out there, you can leave now.”
I felt much better after using these two techniques.
In my recent immersion in women’s circles, I know that many women who want to make a big impact feel that they are too much or too full on.
It’s time for us to claim the light and the dark of this. It’s okay if you are full on and have lots of energy!
To find out more about Nidhu Kapoor’s work, you can go to: https://www.facebook.com/awakenthedoctor/
To find out more about Amy-Jo’s Full Court of Atonement I suggest you buy her two very affordable eBooks which you can get to: https://courtofatonement.com/